Monday, September 27, 2010
Don't Fake It!
As a guy, I gotta tell you, it's easy to believe that there is something in our hormonal makeup that makes us constantly think about sex. In our culture, it's also easy to buy into the idea that girls don't think about, talk, or want sex as much as guys do. Well, I call bullshit.
Growing up with lots of girls in my family I realized that a lot of the stereotypes we hold about girls and their interest in sex was wrong. Not only do they want it, and fantasize about it, when they talk about it with each other they go into a lot more detail than us guys ever do. In the end, we're all human and it's in our species' best interest to have both sexes have a strong desire to mate, so we both do.
Desire is one thing, delivery is another. Yeah, making a baby is simple enough, but enjoyment of making said baby or enjoyment of "practice" at making said baby can be challenging to one of the parties involved. To please a guy, it's as simple as letting us in. I feel for you ladies. I don't see it being so simple for you. Girls just have a more complex arousal system.
Now ask anyone, girl or guy, that has ever had an orgasm if they would like to have another one sometime, and a resounding "Of course!" is sure to follow. Orgasms are truly a wonderful thing and we ALL want them. Ask any non-virgin guy if he's ever had an orgasm during intercourse and chances are extremely high that yes is the answer. Now ask women the same question and a sad fact is revealed: Some of them haven't. Like ever. Like not once. Now, ask those same women if they've ever faked it and chances are that their response is yes.
Now, don't get me wrong, I know it's our fault. Girls do that because us men are fucking pitifully sensitive about our performance in that department and they don't wanna hurt our feelings. Quite frankly if I was having sex and it wasn't doing anything for me, I'd want to do something to speed things up to a close so I can go get myself off or simply get on with my life too. Add to that the fact that even in porn, where you'd think "hey, this guy does this for a living, he should know what he's doing" you see guys who obviously are not all that sure of where the clit is. Pitiful.
As much as I get why it happens, it makes me so sad when I hear a girl say "I have faked it a lot". This blog entry is directed both at the sensitive ego dumbasses & at women who are making said dumbass think that what he's doing is actually working. That, to me, is the blind leading the blind and you are likely to get nowhere.
I will not say that a girl has never faked it with me. I dunno. I guess I hope not, but hey, we're not born knowing how to get a girl off, so at some point you're clumsy at it & who knows if you'll be lucky enough to stumble across a victory. I know at the beginning I definitely didn't. I guess she didn't think my ego would be hurt by her honesty. It was. But I saw it as temporary defeat, and was excited for my next chance at success, and even more excited when success finally happened.
I have more experience now, and it's because of said experience that I say this: If you want to not have to fake it, I ask of you ladies one thing... PLEASE, DO NOT FAKE IT. It will never teach him what really gets you off. I guess if you are eliminating him from any future access to your goodies, than maybe then it's not a big deal, but it really isn't a good plan for the long run. And to you guys...PLEASE STOP LETTING YOUR SENSITIVE EGO GET IN THE WAY OF GOOD SEX. Get your head out of your ass, stop thinking you're God's gift to women, and let who you are make her feel comfortable enough to help you along.
A little trust, communication, and exploration of tactics and you'll find out what gets her off. If you think it's always as simple as stick it in and go back and forth, then you have the sexual prowess of a pimply teen. My best advice if you're having problems getting her off through intercourse would be to have her let you watch her while she gets herself off. See how she gets herself there. It'll clue you in on her most sensitive areas, and how and when she likes to be touched where. This is different for every girl. This can also be a difficult thing to let you in on for a shy girl, but well worth it if she can get past the shyness. And then hey, remember that a girl's ability to get there has a lot to do with what's happening mentally. As a guy you should help that mental dance to the top by paying attention to her cues and responding. That will keep that mental game in the right place. Most of all - pay attention motherfucker. If you were paying attention in the first place, she wouldn't have to fake it.
Okay. One final note to you ladies....Remember you are beautiful. We are not picking apart little imperfections while we are in there. We're happy to be in the situation and probably just trying to make sure we can last long enough to get you off. If you're thinking self conscious bullshit, you're fucking with something that could impede you getting there...your mind! Hey lady, you deserve all the orgasms in the world no matter who you are, so allow yourself the pleasure. One of the girls that I have had the best time with in bed told me that she had to learn to let go before she was ever able to have an orgasm from intercourse regularly.
There it is. Let go, and don't fake it. I wish you happy trials! and even happier victories! ;)